Monthly Musings N°2

In an effort to continue a project I started last month, I decided to pick up where I left off with my Monthly Musings N°1. I reread my last entry, and I was surprised by how aligned I am with the wishes I expressed in my last entry. I have always believed in manifesting our deepest desires simply by writing them down.

After four years of keeping the protagonists of my novel in limbo, an epiphany came to me that inspired me to pick the novel back up, and the next thing I knew I was rearranging the outline, changing directions, and once again filled with excitement for the future of my characters’ journey. I realized I was not enthusiastic about where they were headed, and as silly as it sounds, it occurred to me I could change that. Quite a novel idea, right?

Without going into too much detail on my novel (I hold a personal superstition that giving away too much can stall the process) just as I was immersing myself into a daily writing routine, a flight deal to Europe popped into my inbox one morning, and after a quick discussion with my husband, we decided to take the leap, again fulfilling a desire to finally meet my husband’s family in Ireland and the UK, while also doing research for my novel.

I spent the next several days planning the trip in great detail so we could cover the ground I hoped to explore for material. In the wake of this, tragedy hit, which has rightfully taken full stage in a worldwide debate. I try not to get into politics on any of my platforms, but I admit the conflict with Israel and Palestine has deeply impacted me. It has been all consuming, leaving me with little space to focus on anything else.

With everything that is now going on in the world, we are now rethinking our trip. At first I was in denial, sticking strongly with our plans. But over the past few days, my husband has almost persuaded me that it might be best to postpone. As poet Robert Burns wrote:

The best laid schemes of mice and men go often awry, and leave us nothing but grief and pain, for promised joy!

I tend to have a Carpe Diem approach to life, but I also recognize some setbacks happen for a reason that we are yet to discover until the narrative has fully unfolded. 

I left my female protagonist standing on the edge of the Pacific, ‘hair wind-lashed across her back, her graphite boots sunk into the surf, an achromatic form against the seascape – an iconic mid century postcard, deckle-edged and timeless’ imagining standing on the Cliffs of Moher, a place she has longed to visit in person. I wonder when she will arrive there, and whether or not I can conjure the feelings she would feel without experiencing firsthand what it would feel like myself. I suppose only time will tell.